L E N K U plus L O V E
by LeNkUisLIFE
Summary: Because sometimes their story can get a bit tragic and cheesy, but for them, it's a precious moment that only they can share, feelings only they are aware of and that is what makes it special. - . . L E N and M I K U [ V O C A L O I D ] :: one-shot collection because they are my new OTP.
1. Reasons

_one; reasons_

* * *

Hatsune Miku is a curious girl.

More than once, she finds herself wandering about little things, _irrelevant_ ones, that she often finds intriguing. She is a woman of logic and if she wants to know why she can't slam a revolving door then she damn well gets the answer. (On a completely different note, her friends hasn't let her live that down yet)

Which is why as she stares at a golden-haired boy with eyes the same color as the sky on a clear day, one question continues imprinting itself on her mind.

"Len," she murmurs.

The said teen looks up from his homework, his eyebrows scrunch together. "What is it?"

Miku hesitates, fiddling with a loose thread on her shirt. "Just something I was thinking about." She wonders if it's okay to ask your best friend-turned-boyfriend these sorts of question or will it count as some form of taboo or something? Miku is new in this relationship thingy and she sometimes gets quite annoyed at her own ignorance.

Len cock his head, curiosity clear on his face. "Yeah?"

Miku takes a deep breath, tells her subconscious to shut the eff up and stop bringing up worst case scenarios inside her head and stares at Len in the eye.

"What exactly," she pauses, "do you love about me? I mean, I was wondering because I'm not exactly beautiful or smart or funny or, or something! I even pranked you so many times that I eventually stopped counting and yet you still accepted me and I don't know, I just want to understand what you saw in me, and I'm perfectly conscious of the fact that I'm rambling."

Miku closes her eyes, suddenly afraid of his answer. She has convinced herself so many times that if Len only loved her because of some dumb ass reasons, she will kick his ass in a matter of seconds.

What she didn't expect is for him to laugh so much it made him sound like a whale dying. "What exactly is funny," Miku mutters, cross at her boyfriend's reaction. She doesn't know what exactly is funny with the whole thing.

Finally, after what seems like forever, he finally stops, not after letting out a few more chuckles. "I'm sorry. It's just that you blushing is quite rare, if I do say so myself."

Miku grumbles and crosses her arms, "So, what's your answer? And don't tell me it's because of my hair and my eyes because teal is not really your favorite color. And don't even get me started on my personality."

Before she can continue, Len takes her hands, his expression completely serious. "You really want to know?" At Miku's nod, he grins, "It may sound really corny," Miku frowns, "and I'm sorry but I don't know how uncheesy-fy it, so here goes."

He takes a deep breath, "I love the way you smile, how your whole face lights up whenever you see something cute. You're always optimistic even at the darkest of times and I always know that I can count on you to cheer me up."

Miku blushes and buries her face on his shoulders, "You're right. It's corny."

Len smiles. "You aren't afraid of people's opinions and you don't change yourself just to fit in with others. You are who you are and you're not afraid to show that."

"Yet, you also have a soft side. Whenever that baka Rin cries you always handly her in the most caring way and I know that all of it comes from your heart. You sympathize and even then, you are still able to punch anyone who makes your friends cry."

Len continued, "And don't even say that you're not beautiful or funny or smart, though I agree with the latter," Miku respond with a half-hearted punch. "Anyone with eyes can see that you are pretty, and I think even Kami-sama agrees, because He gave you a unique hair color. I think -wait, I know, that He knows that you will grow up to be a wonderful person yourself."

Len makes eye contact with Miku, "And whoever thought of the idea of making Rin's hair the colors of the rainbow have a pretty good sense of humor if I do say so myself."

Miku laughs, and even though her face is as red as the color of a fire truck engine, she smiles, because who won't smile with a confession like that? "You're a dork."

Laughing, Len kisses her in the forehead, "I won't answer that because I've said enough corny lines to last a lifetime."

And as Miku further snuggles up into his arms, she wonders why she hadn't kicked his ass yet and on the back of her mind, she thinks that corny as it may be, it still made her heart race and her stomach erupt with butterflies.

Dumb ass reasons, indeed.

* * *

Review if that's your thing and if not, enjoy silent reading!


	2. Beast

_two; beast_

 **NOTE: The translation of Hatsune Miku's song "The Beast" does not belong to me.**

* * *

 _I was keeping a secret, I hated being hurt._

 _Finally the castle I built all for myself_

 _Was filled with an emptiness so deep that I could drown._

* * *

"Why are you leaving?" I could hardly recognize my voice. I didn't grovel, I was –am, strong, but this person was crying and begging, snot falling out of her nose.

This was not me.

She was someone pathetic, someone weak.

My mother's eyes hardened, and I didn't recognize her either. My mom was loving and caring and the best in the whole world. She looks at me with such kind eyes, full of compassion and empathy.

This is a stranger.

"Go away, freak."

And I can't help but cry, even though she's a stranger and I'm not supposed to be affected.

* * *

 _It's so cold, It's so sad_

 _You've been alone all this time._

* * *

And then you came, with your golden hair being swept by the wind and your clear blue eyes searching amongst the crowd, for what, I didn't know. You seemed to be the kind of person who can easily get what you want and I hate that.

Instantly, I started to hate you for the person my mind pictured you as.

One day, you saw me.

I glared at you, my teal eyes hardening with every step you took towards me. I was frozen and being the idiot that you were, you titled my head towards you, our eyes meeting: teal against blue.

"Leave me alone," I murmured, my voice weak. I imagined that I didn't sound very convincing to you but I didn't really care.

"You've been alone all this time," your voice went urgent, "please let me in."

* * *

 _I was scared._

 _I left, embellished, measured, got upset and mad at you._

* * *

"You don't know me." Suddenly, courage seeped inside me and despite my heart's protests, I pushed you away from me, my body growing heavy as words after words spew from my mouth. "Just go away, Kagamine."

But as I walked away, I heard you whisper. "I'm not giving up on you. "

And I didn't know why but my chest started to flutter and I did something I didn't do for a very long time.

Hope.

* * *

 _I built my castle in solitude,_

 _And my pride locked its doors._

* * *

"Do you want to play with us, Hatsune-san?" You were asking again. I didn't know why you even try, every time you ask, I would just insult you and tell you to mind your own business.

You were always like that.

Every day is a routine: I would go to school, you would accompany me, I would ignore you and you would try to talk to me. I was getting used to it.

I didn't answer you this time, but I think you already knew what I wanted to say.

* * *

 _I was keeping a secret,_

 _I really hated loss._

* * *

"You're so cute, Luka-chan," I murmured, my hands brushing the kitten I found abandoned near the park's entrance. She was just like me, abandoned and unliked, and when we met, I think I just knew.

She was my only friend.

She won't leave me like the others did.

But as I stared at an empty box situated below one of the swings with a cat nowhere in sight, my heart grew heavy and the sky started to cry.

* * *

 _Stop pitying me,_

 _There's no way you could understand me._

 _I grasped, grumbled, raged and_ _gnawed_

 _And yet you still picked me._

* * *

"Go away, Kagamine." As soon as I saw you, those words automatically flew from my mouth and I wondered why even my mind seemed to be screaming in protest at your frowning face.

You're not supposed to look like that.

"You're my friend," You probably didn't know but I admired you, "and friends do not leave each other behind."

* * *

 _This body that had grown so used to loneliness_

 _Won't let me melt in the light of your love._

* * *

I wanted to cry, but tears had left me so long ago, and all I could do now was stare emptily at the wall opposite of me.

I've told myself countless of times. I was not supposed to be affected.

They are strangers.

They're not supposed to affect me.

I learned that lesson a long time ago, but I still fail the test every single time.

"What did they do, Miku?" You were there again, but this time, my mind closed down and for the first time, tears started flowing from my eyes.

Maybe it was because of the way you were staring at me, full of compassion and not pity. You understand me, you know what I'm going through and you understand that maybe, just maybe, I don't need words to know that you will always be there.

And yet, I've grown so used to this aching loneliness that I couldn't get myself to say those three words.

* * *

 _I was keeping a secret._

 _I know that was love._

* * *

You were talking to someone.

She was cute, with hair as golden as yours, and sparkling hazel eyes.

You were smiling and laughing.

I tried hard to ignore you but you just looked so happy and carefree –nothing of the person who constantly gets hurt by my refusal that I just wanted to crumble right then and there.

My heart hurt, more so than usual, and I just wanted to crumble it into pieces.

If this was supposed to be love, then I wanted no part of it.

* * *

 _The castle dweller was slowly fading away_

 _And I was overcame with these feelings of fear._

* * *

You're not talking to me anymore, and the fear that I didn't really knew I had, consumed me.

You were leaving me.

Simple as that.

I cried with the sky.

* * *

 _For the first time,_

 _I cried for another person._

* * *

You went away.

The teacher told us that you were transferring to another school hours away from this town, and what really got to me was that you didn't even bother to tell me goodbye.

I was disappointed.

I actually thought you were different.

I thought you cared.

But I was being delusional again.

Maybe I was. My mom told me I have a tendency of doing that.

* * *

 _Open the door, laugh, smile, hug, and kiss,_

 _I should have loved you._

* * *

My days turned to normal again.

And occasionally, I would see that blinding smile and glowing face out of the corner of my eyes and my chest would tighten.

I hadn't even told you those three words.

* * *

 _The shadow of warmth I received_

 _Won't forgive my lonely heart_

 _Until the day that I can meet you again,_

 _I will keep waiting in the thousand years to come._

* * *

I stared ahead as I waited for the train to pass.

This was the fifth time I was fired from my job, and I was getting tired of myself. Many years had passed and even now, I still haven't achieved something to be proud of.

I'm as much of a failure as I was in the past.

The train finally passed by, and my teal hair billowed in the wind. Putting a strand of it behind my hair, I looked up, ready to walk forward.

…

A golden-haired man with clear blue eyes.

I sighed.

 _It's not even a thousand years yet._


	3. Choices

_three; choices_

 **NOTE: This one is kinda short and crappy.**

* * *

I told you once.

 _"When you love someone, you have to let them go."_

You looked at me, confused.

I don't know why I'm telling you this, either.

I continued.

 _"But, if you truly love that person,"_

I gazed upwards.

 _"Learn to fight for it."_

We were young back then, but I knew what I was talking about.

One day, you asked me.

 **"Which choice will you pick?"**

And with your hopeful face, my heart suddenly grew heavy.

I knew then, I'll regret this.

I acted nonchalant.

 _"The first one."_

Your face fell, and I see your eyes brimming with tears.

I ignored it.

That was my second regret.

I made two wrong choices that day.

On August 17, I broke your heart.

Along with mine.


	4. Nerves

_four; nerves_

 **NOTE: Gosh, this is really crappy!**

* * *

Hatsune Miku went away from her group.

She put her ice cold hands on her face, wishing for warmth. What she wouldn't give to be back in her usual outfit of jeans and tees. Instead, she had to discreetly pull down her skirt, cursing Luka for not giving her something that would cover more skin.

Her teeth chattered, and it wasn't just because of the cold.

Ever since this morning, all she wanted to do was shrivel up into a fetal position and beg every god out there to postpone the competition. Most people would kill to be in her position, but Miku, on the other hand would kill to get out of it.

She never really handled pressure too well.

Today was the second day of Idol Showdown, a competition known throughout the world, and much to Miku's despair, she had to participate in the Best Female Idol portion, when all she wanted to do was to cheer her friends on while eating popcorn in the front row seat.

She glanced around her and grimaced upon seeing some of her "rivals" milling around with their family and friends. There were Hoshino Utau, Izayoi Miku, Nakagawa Kanon and even the Daidouji heiress, Tomoyo, was it? They looked confident, showing no signs of anxiety, and Miku had to remind herself that these people were professionals. They had practiced all their life, singing and dancing, while Hatsune Miku was just a newbie considered to them.

"I don't belong here."

Miku shrieked when someone suddenly grabbed her shoulders. She turned to back, ready to give the culprit a piece of her mind when she finally realized who the person was.

Kagamine Len.

"Len!" Surprised, she stumbled backwards but Len caught her by the arm.

"Don't say that!" Miku looked confused at the serious expression on his face, something which she rarely see. "You do belong, Miku, so don't say the opposite."

Miku fiddled with her fingers, a sure sign of her nervousness. "Why are you here, Len?"

"Meiko-neesan was worried." He paused. "She told me first timers always get jitters so..." He trailed off. Miku had this feeling that she's not entirely being truthful but she let it go.

"You and Rin are first-timers, too, moron." Miku forced a laugh. "Rin doesn't look nervous at all."

"Yeah, cause she has me. And don't try to change the subject. What's the problem?"

"It's just that," Miku paused, looking for the right words, "when I first started, I never had to worry about anything. It was just my songs and me." At Len's look, she conceded. "Okay, just my songs, me and all of our friends and I was -am, still happy, but now, with all my fans' expectations of me winning and all... it just gets to me."

Len took her by the shoulders and stared at her aquamarine eyes intensely. "Listen, you don't have to worry what anyone, even your fans, expect of you. You don't have to please anybody, you are you, and if they don't understand that, then they're all idiots."

"Just focus on having fun, okay?"

Miku forced herself to nod. Sure, Len's little pep talk helped her about her hesitations on the winning and expectations area, but it didn't soothe her nerves about performing onstage, either. Singing in front of many people still frightens her, even now.

An idol scared of performing?

Practically unheard of. But as usual, Miku makes the impossible possible.

"Can Meiko-chi take my place, then?"

Len looked annoyed, "Can't. You know she'll be doing a duet with Kaito-niisan, remember?"

Miku do remember. She had been getting the same answer every time she asked, which is a million times, no exaggerating.

"How about Luka?"

"Can't. She has to meet her grandma at the country side. Remember?"

Miku decided to stop with the nagging. She figured it would only be a matter of time before Len erupted.

An angry Len equals a destructive Len.

Len looked at his watch. "You have to go to the backstage now."

Miku sighed deeply, finally resigned to her fate/doom. Before she went, however, she moved her mouth near Len's ear and whispered.

Len's face went from surprised to delighted to satisfied. He nodded and shooed Miku away, smiling. "Yeah, yeah, I get it, Hatsune. Now blow their minds out!"

And as Miku entered the stage with her signature smile on, she immediately sought out her friends' faces and smiled as they waved at her cheerily. She grinned and winked at a red-faced Len.

"Haiii, minna-san!"

* * *

 **I think I'm more suited with short works like chapter 2 and 3? What do you think? And can you guess what Miku whispered to Len? Oh, and there's a poll in my profile, so please answer!**


	5. Voice

_five; voice_

 **NOTE: Please don't forget to vote on the poll on my profile and say if you want more songfics like this one and chapter 2. And don't worry, I actually like Meiko and Kaito. Also, I do not own the english translation of ODDs and ENDs.**

* * *

The first time I saw you was on the 15th day of September.

It was the third week of school and our teacher just told us that we will be having a new student.

Then you entered.

You have the typical Californian look: blond hair and blue eyes, but your skin is deathly pale, not the usual tan I was used to. I took you as the sort of person who never even step foot outside the house, unless forced. That's how much chalk white you are.

Even then, you never really left an impression on me.

The teacher told you to introduce yourself. You shuffled forward and I got this distinct feeling that you would rather be anywhere but here. Somehow, I kind of understand why.

"Boku no namae wa Kagamine Len desu," you mumbled.

I thought it was nice to have another person like me here.

* * *

 _You are someone who is always laughed at,_

 _having rotten luck in all that you do._

* * *

They were humiliating you again.

I didn't know why you even try to talk to them. Bullies. That's what they are, simple as that. And yet, you didn't even show any signs of giving up. You always try everything you can to please them, to give them whatever they want.

You were persistent and I tried so hard to admire that.

But it just made me thought that you were a brainless idiot.

I passed by you and paused.

Sensing my presence, I noticed you tense and looked at me from the corner of your eye, your song lyrics, crumpled and torn, still clutched in your hands.

"Anata wa baka, Kagamine-kun."

Was it just me or did a tear, small and glittering, rolled down your cheek? But you blinked and maybe, it was just my imagination.

* * *

 _Just like always, you are a disliked person._

 _Kept at a distance without a reason, even though_

 _you always try and make your best effort._

* * *

I've learned to hold my cries in whenever I see them trip you and insult you in front of the whole school. The teachers were just looking from the sidelines, too damn scared of Shion and Sakine's parents to even stop the fight. Cowards, the lot of them.

And yet, I can say the same for me.

Though what made my eyes burn more is the way I see you clench your fists and try to look strong in front of everybody. You put on your facade (and they were fooled, but not me -never me) and stared at them head on, hardening your blue eyes.

"Screw you," you whispered, but your emotions rang clear and I couldn't be prouder.

For the hundredth time, I found another reason to admire you.

* * *

 _If that's the case, you should use my voice!_

* * *

Winter came, and with it left your sudden burst of bravery.

You became their pet dog once again, and the punishment were harsh, much crueller than they were before. I thought that maybe, they were scared of what you can do, but you never believed in what I had to say. And I expected that.

Why would you listen to someone when you don't even have faith in yourself?

I passed by the park, the groceries in my hand growing heavier by the second and I wanted to berate myself for forgetting to bring mittens and a scarf. Then I saw a familiar face.

My mind told me to go, to ignore you and pretend as if nothing happened. My heart told me the opposite.

I went and sat on the swing next to the one you were sitting on.

I always had a bad habit of following my emotions. Nero, my cousin, thought it's troublesome, but times like this, it made me glad.

You looked up and my breath caught on my throat. Your sparkling blue eyes that once shone with happiness, however fake it is (but sometimes, I thought they were genuine though I really couldn't tell when it came to you), and the willingness to please, now resembled the sky on a cloudy day: dark and lifeless. My heart skipped a beat and the words just stumbled out of my mouth.

"Use my voice!"

And even though you looked at me with surprise and contempt, I would never retract those words.

* * *

 _Though it's not understood or accepted by some people,_

 _even though they say "How ear-grating!", "It's an awful voice!"_

* * *

"Are you kidding? How many times do I have to repeat myself?" You looked annoyed. "Your voice is too high-pitched, Hatsune."

I put my hands on my hips and glared at you, "That's rude, Len."

Spluttering, you gaped at me, looking like a fish out of water and I tried not to show the satisfaction on my face. It was rare to make you speechless and I always savour those moments. "L-Len? Excuse me?"

I tilted my chin, smug, "You're excused," I turned my back, "oh, and you can call me Miku, I wouldn't mind."

Only when I left the school did I allow a smile to appear on my face.

* * *

 _It will surely become your strength,_

 _so try and let me sing!_

 _That's right, let me sing your very own words._

* * *

"Fine!"

You sounded exasperated, but I didn't care. Maybe, you said it in the heat of the moment, but for me, a fine is a fine.

My smile widened and I took your cold hands, warming them with my mitten-covered ones. You stepped back in surprise, but I didn't let go.

"Arigatou gozaimasu, Len."

* * *

 _Compose them and join them together,_

 _since I'll shout out those thoughts and words of yours._

* * *

"This is awkward!" I mumbled, my red face growing redder as I read more and more of the lyrics (there are thousands of them and for the first time, I started to wonder what I got myself into) you gave me.

You strummed the guitar you were holding and only your fidgeting hands hinted the embarrassment you must be feeling, "No, it's not." You cleared your throat and gazed at the forest near the park. It was nearing midnight and the sun had already set a few moments ago. Being an only child meant over protectiveness and I didn't really want to think about what Mom would do to me when I get home.

"Look, Hatsune." I held in my comment, "If you don't want to, you can go. I'm not forcing you."

And I know you didn't mean to, but the face you made after you said that broke my heart.

Your eyebrows scrunched together and the sky that was your eyes darkened once again. You may say that I was overthinking, but like always, you clenched your hands so much I was afraid it would to bleed.

That was the first thing I noticed about you.

Your hands were always a dead give-away.

I just knew.

"Fine, I'll sing whatchamacallit. What's the title of this one, anyway?"

Your face cleared and the breath I didn't know I was holding released.

"World is Mine, baka. It's written in bold letters at the top."

"Oh."

* * *

 _Lay out your dreams and ideals,_

 _I won't let anyone touch those feelings of yours._

* * *

"You call this a song?" Shion looked at the crumbled paper, disgust shown clearly on his handsome face.

I didn't know why you never tried to fight since then. They were your songs, and they didn't have the right to criticize them. Once again, you were being a coward like before. But unlike back then, I just now realized why you never fought back.

And it made me feel ashamed.

"Fuck off, Shion!" I snapped and dragged you towards the door, "Just because Len actually knows how to compose and you can't even spell silhouette right, doesn't mean you should act like a female dog."

And I hoped with all my heart, that maybe, you could forgive me for being one of those people in the sidelines.

* * *

 _One day, you became a famous person_

 _praised by so many. I was proud as well._

"You're so good at writing lyrics, Len!"

"Let me sing one of your songs sometime!"

"Kyaa! Please sign my t-shirt!"

The first time you passed by this street, you were crying. They had just torn your lyrics (all six of them) and you were upset. We were not friends back then. Just strangers. You had no one. But the second time around, you didn't have just one nor two, but millions of friends. You were smiling this time, and I was glad.

You looked humble in your usual plain t-shirts and jeans as if nothing had changed the past two years, but something was different. This time, your posture was straight, almost regal.

"Thank you so much."

And I was smiling because finally, you were happy and I couldn't be prouder.

* * *

 _But eventually something about you changed._

 _You became cold and seemingly lonely all the same._

* * *

Something was wrong.

You were not responding to my calls anymore and every appointment we arranged was cancelled. There were excuses and then there were excuses. You were avoiding me, that much I was certain of, but why, I did not have the slightest idea. Maybe you were tired of me.

Tired of everything that made me what I am.

But, I was fast getting tired, too.

Tired of the same old redundant reasons.

I saw you and the need to ask burned in my chest, "Daijoubu, Len?"

You did not look me in the eye the way you used to. I tried not to let that disturb me. "Hai."

Frowning, I looked down.

 _Your hands shook._

* * *

 _Saying "Enough with this mechanical voice already!"_

 _"I'm my own person!"_

 _In the end, you were unable to keep yourself from hating me._

* * *

I was the last person to know and it was through a stranger.

I was doing my weekly shopping that Sunday with my sea-green cap on and my trusty 100-yen fire truck red sunglasses. Feeling like a walking Christmas tree with my outfit, I self-consciously shied away from the crowd, unnerved by the staring and the whispering. Even without the disguise, I'm still the center of attraction.

 _Great._

I was ignorantly enjoying my day, missing the quiet life I had taken for granted before I got roped into this whole singing business. Back then, I was plain old Hatsune Miku, an Asian with weird-colored hair in a sea of tanned piranhas. Now, I can't get out of the house without being recognized as the singing sensation who sang THE Kagamine Len's songs.

It took some getting used to, but I managed.

Maybe it was because you were there. We were newbies, yes, but we had each other.

"You're Miku Hatsune, right?"

A brunette around the age of thirteen stood in front of me, loudly chewing a gum.

The panic at being recognized overpowered my desire to correct her (It's supposed to be Hatsune Miku, dang it!). Instead, I immediately shook my head, hiding the small piece of teal hair peaking out from beneath the cap. "I'm afraid you have the wrong person."

She stared at me pointedly, obviously not convinced, "Like I would believe that. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Pinky promise!"

Despite her words, it still made me feel uncomfortable. I opened my mouth, intending to excuse myself but the next words that came out of her mouth shocked me so much I couldn't speak or even move my legs.

"Anyways, I really sympathize with you. I mean, Len Kagamine decided not to write songs for you anymore, right? What did you feel 'bout that?"

I felt like a real Christmas tree this time.

Still and silent.

* * *

 _Behind your back, someone said,_

 _"He is an ass in a lion's skin."_

 _"Even though all this fame is not his own doing."_

* * *

 _I'm my own person._

That was your exact words.

And I was confused.

I don't know if I should be happy or disappointed.

I've waited years to see you finally stand up for yourself.

But this was not how I imagined it.

Confused with my own emotions, I scrolled through the comments on your post (I wonder if you were purposely being a coward or was I the one who is wrong in my opinion of you?) and paused.

Am I supposed to feel supported?

"You're an ass!"

"The only reason you became famous in the first place is because of Miku!"

"Can't believe you were my favorite!"

Somehow, I knew this heavy feeling in my chest was not happiness.

* * *

 _Hey, you were crying all alone, weren't you?_

* * *

We haven't spoken to each other for six days, and to me, it felt like a game of who could care less. This was a contest I can afford to lose, but I had this feeling that either way, I would still end up being the failure.

This thing between us was supposed to be a fleeting -a passing moment, but it bloomed into one of those I most hold dear to my heart.

I bumped into you. You were probably reading a while ago since you had your eyeglasses on, but even with your bangs, I can still see your red-rimmed eyes. Before I could say a word, you walked away and we were back to square one.

Strangers.

A familiar stranger.

* * *

 _Can you hear it? This voice of mine._

 _I'll drown out those hurtful words._

 _I know the truth, that you really are kinder than anyone else._

* * *

I hummed the tune under my breath, my hands gliding over the familiar contours of the grand piano sitting before me. This song was a message. It was only up to them to realize. It was only up to you to understand (I was afraid you couldn't anymore).

I caught your eye. You were sitting on the far back, and even after donning a wig and eye contacts, I could still recognize you.

Your eyes were cold, but I didn't care. You came and that was all that matters.

 _Please listen to me._

I wanted to correct the mistakes.

If I can't go to the past and right the wrong, then I have to settle with the present.

 _"And then the voice of odds and ends sang. For no one else, just your sake alone."_

* * *

 _The two of us came up with lots of words together, didn't we?_

 _And yet, we're not able to come up with a single one right now_

* * *

 _"How about this? Black Shooter?"_

 _"It's alright, I guess. But something's missing."_

 _We paused._

 _And both exclaimed._

 _"Black Rock Shooter!"_

 _"Now that's perfect."_

 _"No it's not, you haven't even finished the lyrics."_

 _"Why don't you help me? Say some words I can use."_

 _"I don't really know..."_

 _"Just say words that come to your mind."_

 _"Tender," I tried not to look at you in the eye, knowing that if I do, you'll know instantly why I thought that. "Fragrance with a hint of pain, unbearable, tears of frustration, I don't know. I'm not used at this sort of thing."_

 _"Please?"_

 _Grudgingly, I imagined phrases in my mind, "Burning like a flame, I like that. And once upon a me or writing my own story. That sounds cool."_

 _But you already had that glint in your eye and I knew you were not listening anymore._

Now, as we stared awkwardly at each other, empty notebooks at hand, I suddenly wished for things to turn back to the way it was before.

* * *

 _"I see, surely, this is a dream."_

 _"That dream where I don't wake up from when I was able to meet you."_

* * *

I was crying.

Until now, I had deluded myself that this was just a passing thing, but the situation just now settled into my mind.

"Jikan o teishi shite kudasai!"

* * *

 _You cry and shout out to the ending you had wished for._

 _"It's a lie!", "It's not true," that is what you cry and shout._

* * *

Everywhere I look, I see your face and your name. But things had spiraled. This time, you were alone once again, abandoned for deciding to do something for yourself.

I understand that.

But I can't say, "Don't listen to what they say," anymore.

I didn't really like lying.

* * *

 _Sadness and joy, it has already been felt by the two of us._

* * *

 _"You're supposed to do it this way, baka Hatsune."_

 _"Well, excuse me, Mr. Know-It-All. Why the heck am I even dancing anyway? Shouldn't I just be singing?"_

 _"It's called being an idol," you told me patiently._

 _"Yeah, yeah, just because your song got million views doesn't mean you could boss me around!"_

 _"M-million views?" You sounded disbelieving. "You sure?"_

 _"Do I look like I'm lying?"_

 _"I can't really tell with you."_

 _"Should I take that as an insult or a compliment?"_

 _You were already calling a restaurant for a reservation and even with your back turned to me, I could feel the brimming grin you have on your face._

 _I smiled._

* * *

 _Words become song once more._

 _They begin to rush about the world for your sake._

 _Right now, thoughts and feelings will resound._

* * *

"I've decided to be an idol with Rin. You do remember her, right?"

I do remember. The twin sister who spent all her life in a hospital undergoing surgeries to cure her cancer. You had told me about her countless times, telling stories of how ever since Rin had seen idols singing in television, it had been her ultimate dream to perform on a stage packed with people who are waiting to hear her sing. The same Rin she had visited and who had told her that me and you make a perfect match.

And now, the same Rin that was tearing us apart.

I tried not to blame someone.

This was not anyone's fault.

 _Don't cry._

I couldn't convince my heart.

You looked apologetic, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner. I was being a coward," I wanted to agree," and instead of telling you this directly, I decided to go for the easy way. It may look like it, but I don't really hate you."

You were lying.

The cold glares, the wincing, the ignoring. I know you, Kagamine Len, and you were not a good actor.

"You're the reason why I'm here right now and I'll always be grateful for that. But I need to achieve my own goals and I wanted to do that with my sister."

For the first time in the conversation, I spoke up, my voice dry, "I understand. no really, it's no big deal."

This was what I want, right? For the other scrawny Asian to finally stand up to the bullies and forge his own path. For him to finally stop relying on others and find his own strengths. But I didn't had a clue that involved _leaving_... separation.

You turned your back, but before you could leave my life forever, I stilled my nerves, "Is this a goodbye, Len?"

Your eyes were warm.

"Ie, see you next time, Miku."

I thought it was cruel of you to finally say my first name only for it to be our last meeting.

A beginning in the end or an end in the beginning?

Which is it?

I looked out the window and saw you leave the gates. Sighing, I glanced at the folded white paper a pinkette wearing business clothes had given to me beside our house. I opened it.

Written was:

 **Megurine Luka -** _Vocaloid Agency_


	6. Wallpaper

_six; wallpaper_

 **NOTE: This one is quite short. (But it's a Len POV!) Sorry for the late update. (School is a personification of Tartarus!)**

* * *

 _"You changed my wallpaper."_

Twitch.

 **"No, I didn't."**

You tapped your feet.

 _"Hmm..."_

 **"It's true!"**

You looked at anywhere but me.

 **"I am!"**

 _"Hmm..."_

You scratched the back of your head.

I inwardly grinned.

 **"Fine! I'm the one who changed it. Happy?"**

You pouted.

 _"Mhmm... And may I ask why you changed it into a picture of yourself in a bikini?"_

 **"Datte! You said I look good in a swimsuit!"**

I spluttered.

 **"Rin-chan told me!"**

 _"Whaaa?! Don't believe a word she says, Miku-nee!"_

I gaped.

You laughed.

 **"It's okay, Len-kun. I think you look quite handsome in whatever you wear!"**

I didn't really know what happened next.

When I opened my eyes, Meiko-nee told me I fainted.

-.-


	7. Excuses

_seven; excuses_

* * *

Another dinner reservation cancelled. But this time, no bouquet of tulips came as an apology. She, _they_ _both_ _are_ _,_ getting tired of the same old routine, it seems. It doesn't really surprise her anymore.

The act they're putting up, of _caring_ and _apologizing_ and _forgiving_ , deeply sickens her. Miku thinks ( _knows at the back of her mind_ ) that he is just waiting for her to sign the papers, and she tries so, so hard ( _but her efforts had never really made a difference_ ) to patch things up together, back to the way it all used to be.

But it's so _useless useless useless_

Every single time Len comes home ( _she is always, always sitting by the door, anxiety feeling her bones_ ) he is too exhausted, too tired for a simple talk. She thinks she understands, the business meeting are long and boring, the clients too difficult to deal with, and he does not like it either. But she wonders if she has become the same as him, always making _reasons, reasons and reasons_ just to get away from reality.

It's always the same _excuses_.

She has memorized it last February, and she questions what he will use now. He says he was busy talking to a potential big client. She nods and like a machine devoid of feelings, she robotically called the number of the restaurant, not even feeling _regret_ and _remorse_. She's used to it and she tries to not let the tears fall because he's _watching_ , _listening_ and he hates weaknesses and Miku wonders when did she start to become the person he despises.

Len has never told her the words she wanted to hear, because he's _busy busy busy_. And sometimes, she fantasizes about him saying [ _i love you_ ] and she crumbles to the floor because reality comes crashes back and she knows it will never really happen. The only thing keeping them together is that one flimsy paper and Miku despairs, because she knows that he longs so much for her to sign the divorce papers.

 _splitsplitsplit_

She says those three words so many times she lost count (" _I love you" "I love you" "I love you_ "). But maybe he doesn't really notice because he's tired and exhausted and she repeats the words once more, hoping for her feelings to get across, hoping for him to notice and then they'll reconcile and they'll live _happily ever after_.

But he smiles and he nods and he goes straight to _his_ room. And she feels the knife twisting into her chest, but she clutches her hand, feeling cold all of a sudden and retreated to _her_ room. It's painful and she can't help but wonder, because she can never really find the courage to ask, _maybe they were never really in love, maybe it was a game, maybe they were trying too hard_. She loses hope every single time he doesn't say those words, she wanted to say that _it's fine, it'll be okay_ , but it's not going to be and she's only deluding herself.

It is cowardly of her, to clung at the loose pieces of the way things were before, they loved each other and they were happy. But she is fast getting tired, too ( _she's had enougenoughenough and she only now realizes what he must have felt_ ) and she throws away the reminders of _him and her, her and him._ She now realizes that they were never really destined to begin with.

Who are they fooling with the half-assed attempts at getting back together? He says he's sorry, he can't make it and she says it's okay, but it's not and she is scared at how easy lying has become. She wonders if that was all there is to love, a simple fleeting moment and she's _so, so_ foolish for believing it will last. She wants ( _needs... and she asks herself why she even bothers feeling and hoping_ ) for the time before this, for the time before it all fell apart and she bawls, because _it won't happen, it can't happen_ and she did not even bother picking up the small shards of glass as she hurls the vase still filled with tulips to the wall.

She's exhausted, so very tired at always finding reasons to fight at the smallest of things. It is _pettypettypetty_ , but she's satisfied because that's the only way she can get him to notice her. She wants to ask when their love had become so messed up, but she doesn't. He'll make another excuse, reasons and she has had enough of what he has to say.

Her heart is heavy, filled to the brim with broken promises and fake caresses, and she makes up her mind, a little unsure but determined, nonetheless. She's going to be fine, she'll be free, she'll find someone again.

At the back of her mind, she questions why his midnight blue eyes looks horrified and aghast as she procured the divorce papers in front of him, just waiting for his signature. She doesn't want to wait for him to be the one to make the decision, she knows how much he longs for it and she would never let herself be led on by him again, _neveragainnevernever_. She takes the first step and still, she is not happy and she is so, very sad.

She forces the words out of her mouth, and she feels horrible but she shakes it off, this is supposed to be good, it's the greatest decision she had ever made in her life, but she feels so sick. Her mind is made up now, she'll go back to her parents' house, and she'll stay there until she earns enough money to travel around the world. She feels free, yet conflicted ( _isthisrightwhatamIdoing_ ) but she ignores the aching in her chest.

Her car comes to life and all she has in possession is a tiny backpack. He had always treated her like a queen, buying expensive gifts, but he doesn't seem to understand that she has no need for such petty things and all she wants is for him to say _iloveyou_ and she tries not to feel offended because he doesn't seem to know her to the extent that she she thinks he does.

She leaves it all, the jewelries, the clothes, the bags and she thinks she has everything but the love of the boy she left behind the mansion that once seemed like a castle in a fairy tale.

She feels foolish for hoping ( _maybehe'llcome_ ) and they'll forgive each other and they'll have that idealistic love that couples would envy.

But he does not come and her heart broke a second time.

 _therearenohappyeverafters,whoaretheyfooling_


	8. Regrets

_eight; regrets_

* * *

Her heels cluck with each step she takes. Somewhere over the noise, he hears the phone ring but he's **numb** , **too stupefied**. This can't be happening, it's a joke, right? _She'skiddingshe'snotreallyleaving_ , but he can't open his mouth, he _won't_ open his mouth. He is afraid, _maybe he's driving her away, maybe he did something, maybe he messed up_. **Maybe, she just grew tired of waiting.**

She opens her mouth and he shakes his head, he doesn't want to hear, because if those words come out of her mouth this time, more clearly, but the **_pain still fresh_** , it is finally _real real real_. He can't do something, he doesn't want it to happen. She'll change her mind, for sure. She always does, she never fails to find a way to fix whatever it is that ties them together. She'll come around.

 _She will_.

He doesn't come after her, _she'll glance at the rearview mirror and she'll remember whenhowwhywhere their fairy tale began and she'll rush back to his arms and they'll live happily ever after_. He is waiting, and his heart lifts when he sees her pausing. See? She comes back, she doesn't mean what she said. It's all lies, she is not thinking straight. She's patient, she's kind.

 **She loves him**.

He'll forgive her this time, she has forgiven him for so long and he wants to return the favor, they'll be fine. They can fix this. It is not above repairing. But, her car starts and dashes out of the marble driveway ( _she tells him before that he is too extravagant but he_ ** _loveslovesloves_** _her and he wants her to have the best and he doesn't know why she frowns_ ), never even pausing in its tracks and his heart sinks.

 _It'snotreal,whatisshedoing?She'sbeingstupid,she'sreallyreallyreallyleaving!_

 _Wecanstillfixthis!Weren'tyoutheonewhotoldmethat?_

He clenches his fists and **he cries** , and _oh God_ , how the salty tears flow down his cheeks. He bawls on the same doorway that once offered a new beginning for the two of them, she was adopted and his parents died and they find solace in each other and **_damn it_!** They are supposed to be together, they say they will love each other through sickness and in health and they vow they will and they break it and now, he doesn 't know when it all began to fall apart.

Where is the picturesque scene they often find themselves dreaming about when they are just these two lonely people who love each other in that simple and carefree way? Where do those moments go? She has become a **woman** and he has become a **man** , and in the process, both have lost the spark the once ignites the passion between them, and all that is left is an empty husk devoid of feelings, drafty with a hint of bittersweet regret for the moments they once shared.

He thinks back, **he has to know** , when did they stopped being the **girl and the boy** into being the **man and the woman**? When did that chaste kiss on the lips started to feel like a routine they only do out of a mere obligation? When did they decided to sleep in different rooms, one in the west, the other in the east, as if the mere thought of sleeping together does not hold the comforting feeling it once made them feel? When did a simple chat suddenly transformed into a burden and exhaustive task that over time turned into nothing but a troublesome habit? When did the other's presence suddenly started feeling like the plague? _When did the deep love they once held for each other disappear only to be replaced by a flimsy thread that will eventually have to be cut?_

And **Len wants to scream** , warmth long lost from his eyes. Is it his fault? He doesn't understand, he cannot comprehend what he might had done wrong. _He works, he wants to make her happy, he'll help her find her biological parents, he juggles his jobs just to fulfill the wishes she once told him that time they lay under the sky_. Then why has things between them suddenly made a 360-degree turn? He does it all for her, but she's gone and she hates him now and he doesn't even know why.

The sound of glasses cracking into littler pieces focused his attention on the expensive vase strewn against the floor, its magnificence and beauty will obviously never see the light of the dawn again. But that isn't what makes his heart beat faster in hoax indifference. The tulips, her favorite, he has bought her to apologize for canceling their lunch date a week ago is still there, at an odd position, yes, but healthy-looking enough to be over seven days old and being taken care of by someone with a black thumb.

And he smiles bitterly because is is the proof that she once care **d** , maybe she still does until now, if so **why**? He thinks she is being selfish, she is throwing away eight years worth of laughter, mutual understanding and love, and for **wha** t? She is tired? She is unsatisfied? She says so herself that they will prove those other people wrong, that they will make this marriage work, that despite all odds, they will always have each other's backs. And he, at least wants to know **why**. Why she breaks her promise and still continues to break his heart.

Len supposes that it was partly his fault, but he insists, he does it for her, he wants to be someone she is proud of, he wants to feel that she did not marry him out of pity, he loves the thought of being able to sustain the both of them, but he also knows that somewhere on his mind, he did it out of pride (he is a man, he should be the one who is working and he knows that she doesn't like it, but he insists, because selfish as it may be, he wants to feel good about himself, just this one time).

He's childish. She's childish. **They're both the same, yet at the same time different. They're different, so in some ways, they're also the same.** They are on the same side of a coin, but both are completely different currency. They are two mismatched puzzle pieces of one whole photograph, but somehow, for at least two-thirds of a dozen years, they managed to make it work. They are able to tell the Fates screw it! because this is their life, and their future, and nobody has the right to take away the freedom they have to decide for themselves what is right and what is wrong and what is justified and what is sinful.

 **Len is lost**.

He is frustrated. It makes him feel weak, having no control over the events happening all around him. Somewhere over the back of his mind, he can see the thread he had so carefully knitted with careful precision, slowly unraveling, the other side, the part where she is supposed to be, is now gone, and he _despairs_ , because he has never been very good at creating things through his own hands, and this is supposed to be his master piece, and **he tries his best** and **it does not work out** and that left him wondering if he does something wrong... _possibly tied the wrong end of the thread or the materials are breakable, too delicate and he is coarse and unrefined and with each wave of his hand, he only makes the process (the deletion, the end, the finish line) faster._

One mistake = **YOU LOSE**

... But that is exactly why they were together all those years ago, right? To prove them wrong. **Happy ever afters do exist**. **True love is real**. You just have to find it, search for it and learn to fight for it. And to hell with the one in a billion chance, even with those odds, he found her. _She is imperfect_. _Pain has been his companion from the beginning_. They found each other. Even with the rest of the world's judgmental and critical eyes, they are still able to prove that that **0.1% do exist** (it's small but it is there), and they are the living proof.

But he wonders, why does he even try? Why does he excuse what happened? It is obvious. **She left**. If she would have wanted to stay, or even has a desire to patch things up between them, she would have stayed. **She would not have left**.

She would not have broken his heart.

Maybe they really are wrong.

 _Hefeelsfoolishbecausefromtheverystart,theyhadbeenwrong,soverywrong._

And for the first time he can remember, **he regrets meeting her**.


	9. Perfect

_nine; perfect_

* * *

For him, she had always been the very epitome of perfectness. The first time he saw her, she was singing a melody he can't quite decipher at first, and until now, had trouble remembering. But he can still recall her face, how she closed her eyes and just _felt_. She was not singing for the money or the fame, but for the sake of indulging in her passion. She loves it, so she does it. He felt like such a creep, managing to dig up deeper meanings from a simple face singing a simple song.

But she was different.

He asked his sister about her. She told him that her name is Hatsune Miku. He thought that it was perfect for her, feeling a momentary surge of relief and satisfaction for having finally been given a name for that girl whose haunting melodies never quite left his mind. Her voice was soft, too high pitched, maybe, but it was fine. It suited her image, kind and angelic. He liked to think that their voices match, and tried singing along softly whenever he hears her, but immediately stops. He felt that he was disrespecting her by doing that.

Her aquamarine eyes had always captivated him, for he shared that same color, but in different shades. Just by that, he felt a connection forming between them. She had teal hair and always, he chastised himself for even entertaining the thought that it was dyed. She was not like that. She was natural, through and through. He felt stupid for defending a girl he does not really know, and so, he told himself: why not learn about her? Why not study her likes and dislikes?

The journey to knowing Hatsune Miku was a difficult and often, embarrassing task. Not because he was ashamed of her, of declaring his fancy over her, but for admitting that _yes_ , he did not know a single thing about her aside from the obvious. He berated himself, thinking that he should have observed more and more and more. He felt like a laughing stock, other people probably thought he was stupid, fake.

But he learned. And what he did learned made him love her all the more. Yes, love. He fell in love with the teal-haired girl singing that weird song he coincidentally heard while waiting for the train. He wondered if it is natural to love someone this much over a span of a few weeks. His friends had drifted away from him, ultimately giving up hope to reach out to the boy they one knew and shared sentimental moments with. What he was now was exact replica, but like all imitations, could not replace the true value of the original.

Many had left him.

But when asked if he could got back into the past and change their meeting, he would be appalled, would be disgusted at the thought of even turning away from her.

She had become his life, and constantly, his every thought had been invaded by her presence, and he longed to hold her in his arms, but was too self-loathing. He did not deserve her. She could have someone better than the average guy that he is.

That didn't made him stop. No, he loved her, and would continue to love her. And on the off chance that she would notice him and feel for him the same way he does for her, he would be content, ecstatic. This had become his greatest wish. To be able to be by her side freely and defend her from those who insult her. They were wrong. She was perfect. She was good. She existed to radiate happiness.

She was real.

She was the one he fell for.

She was a thousand steps away from him, and he tried so hard to catch up, to be merely an inch away from her. And he would continue. Because that's what love makes you do. Love makes you blind, blurring the lines between right and wrong, real and imagination, beauties and faults, just to please your significant other. This was no different and he was okay with that.

Never mind that she was a singing voice synthesizer.


	10. Empty

_ten; empty_

* * *

Looking up blankly at the darkening sky, tiny droplets of rain splattered on my cheeks, as if advising me to take shelter, to hide from the wrath of the gods. My brain kept shouting at me to go, and yet, as the coldness started to creep into my skin, making me shiver at the sudden assault caused by the downpour, my body won't even register the fact, my feet refusing to move even an inch.

I laughed bitterly, and the sound was drowned by the hurried steps of the people as the soles of their shoes crunched against the gravel. Maybe I'll just stand here and wait for my consciousness to slip away from me. After all, people wouldn't care if I just die right here, right now. To them, I am no one, a stranger, just another person they passed by on their way to school or to work. To them, my life and my death means nothing.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I was being pitiful. People had died for far more grievous reasons: wars, murder, sickness, and through much much worse methods. Yet why am I acting like the sky had fallen on my shoulders? Like I am carrying the weight of the world?

I knew the answer, and I had always tried to deny it. But I guess I was getting tired of delaying the inevitable. I'm empty. I'm just a mere shell, an empty husk of the person I knew I was supposed to be. I should have been Hatsune Miku, the bubbly eldest daughter of the school chairman or the serious and studious daughter of the famous fashion model, but I was not. I was neither of the two.

I have no personality. I have no identity. I have nothing that makes me unique. Hatsune Miku was a person devoid of feelings. I am a robot, worse than one, actually.

I couldn't really see the purpose of my life. What exactly is the reason why I was born? What role am I supposed to fulfill? Should I be the person everybody expects Hatsune Miku to be? Should I keep putting up this facade?

My whole life I had been dictated on what to do and not do. I was not able to make my own decisions. I had long ago lost sight of my true wishes, desires. I was just another body molded to be something people are pleased with. My own likes and dislikes? Fears and hopes? They mean nothing. I was not my own person, I had never been.

"I'm useless… I should just… die." My voice rasped for I had not used it for a very long time now.

"Don't say that." I whipped around, finally regaining my senses, and saw a boy standing there. Just my age with dirty blond hair messed up by the wind. He was holding out an umbrella for me, shielding me from the harsh bites of the rain.

"Everybody has their own purpose."

His aquamarine eyes were twinkling, and in that moment, I couldn't have seen anything so beautiful in my whole life.

"You just have to look for it."


End file.
